The Boat Story

***Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated
boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented his boat to a
group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to
salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day
and most of the evening.

***Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he
got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the
grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so
sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."

***Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said, Hell no! Fact
is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from
the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like
old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in
the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used
her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.

***I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to
those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't
very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools
tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the
middle."

***The old woman fainted.