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Eisboch

External


Since: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 673



(Msg. 1) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:10 am
Post subject: Joke
Archived from groups: rec>boats (more info?)

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to piss in the boat!"

---------------------------------------

Eisboch

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Mike

External


Since: Nov 04, 2007
Posts: 147



(Msg. 2) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:18 am
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

I changed beer to milk, and told my 7 year old son... he's still laughing.
Smile

--Mike

"Eisboch" <nothere RemoveThis @nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:JPmdnY-LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remnZ2d@giganews.com...
> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>
> She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
> millions of course.
>
> -----------------------------------------
> Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from
> a
> burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of
> the
> men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would
> appear,
> he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
> came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
> deliver one wish, not the standard three.
>
> Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
> entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening
> crash,
> and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
> mortals.
>
> Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
> hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One
> man
> looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
> tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to
> have
> to piss in the boat!"
>
> ---------------------------------------
>
> Eisboch
>

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John H.

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Since: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 1744



(Msg. 3) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:20 am
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch" <nothere.DeleteThis@nowhere.com> wrote:

>Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>
>She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
>millions of course.
>
>-----------------------------------------
>Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
>burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
>men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
>he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
>came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
>deliver one wish, not the standard three.
>
>Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
>entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
>and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
>mortals.
>
>Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
>hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
>looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
>tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
>to piss in the boat!"
>
>---------------------------------------
>
>Eisboch
>

Well...it *is* boating related!
--
John H
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justwaitafrekinminute

External


Since: May 12, 2007
Posts: 1696



(Msg. 4) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:51 am
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

On Dec 9, 11:43 am, "Eisboch" <r....RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote:
> "Larry" <no....RemoveThis@home.com> wrote in message
>
> news:Xns9A016FDBB578Cnoonehomecom@208.49.80.253...
>
> > "Eisboch" <noth....RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote in news:JPmdnY-
> > LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remn....RemoveThis@giganews.com:
>
> >> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>
> > You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;
>
> > And thank her for me!
>
> > I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
> > on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;
>
> > Larry
>
> Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?
>
> Eisboch

OK, here is my entry:
Mom cookin' in the kitchen of the hunting lodge when a box of bb's
falls into the dinner. Later that evening the youngest comes up and
says "mom, I don't feel good, I think there was something wrong with
dinner. The mom assures him that some bb's fell in the stew, and they
will pass. A few minutes later the 10 yo comes in and says "mom, I
don't feel good". Mom assures her that everything will be ok as soon
as they pass. Later that evening the young teen comes in and says
"mom", mom stops him and says "I know son, you don't feel good right"?
He answers "no mom, I was going to tell you I was jerking off and I
think I just shot the cat! :O
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Larry

External


Since: Nov 05, 2005
Posts: 443



(Msg. 5) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:57 am
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Eisboch" <nothere.DeleteThis@nowhere.com> wrote in news:JPmdnY-
LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remnZ2d.DeleteThis@giganews.com:

> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>

You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry
--
Isn't it ironic that the same ISPs that are telling you
you're downloads threaten their networks......
.....are testing 100Gbps TV to sell on the SAME systems?
http://tinyurl.com/27qx3v
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Eisboch

External


Since: Jan 24, 2006
Posts: 2007



(Msg. 6) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:57 am
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Larry" <noone.DeleteThis@home.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9A016FDBB578Cnoonehomecom@208.49.80.253...
> "Eisboch" <nothere.DeleteThis@nowhere.com> wrote in news:JPmdnY-
> LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remnZ2d.DeleteThis@giganews.com:
>
>> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>>
>
> You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;
>
> And thank her for me!
>
> I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
> on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;
>
> Larry


Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch
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MMC

External


Since: Dec 09, 2007
Posts: 5



(Msg. 7) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:28 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Mike" <mgg RemoveThis @pakbel.net> wrote in message
news:XzU6j.6806$AR7.4254@nlpi070.nbdc.sbc.com...
>I changed beer to milk, and told my 7 year old son... he's still laughing.
>Smile
>
> --Mike
>
> "Eisboch" <nothere RemoveThis @nowhere.com> wrote in message
> news:JPmdnY-LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remnZ2d@giganews.com...
>> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>>
>> She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
>> millions of course.
>>
>> -----------------------------------------
>> Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape
>> from a
>> burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of
>> the
>> men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would
>> appear,
>> he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
>> came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
>> deliver one wish, not the standard three.
>>
>> Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
>> entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening
>> crash,
>> and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled
>> by
>> mortals.
>>
>> Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on
>> the
>> hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One
>> man
>> looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a
>> long,
>> tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to
>> have
>> to piss in the boat!"
>>
>> ---------------------------------------
>>
>> Eisboch
>>
>
>
"piss in the boat" is, but "beer" isn't appropriate language for a 7 year
old??? ever been checked for dyslexia?
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Mike

External


Since: Nov 04, 2007
Posts: 147



(Msg. 8) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:28 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

>>"piss in the boat" is, but "beer" isn't appropriate language for a 7 year
old??? ever been checked for dyslexia? <<

Actually, neither is bad for a 7 year old. He just doesn't drink beer. He
does however pee in the water when we are boating. I put in terms he could
understand. Pity I had to explain it to you.

--Mike

"MMC" <eodmdc.RemoveThis@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:475c25ee$1$9891$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
>
> "Mike" <mgg.RemoveThis@pakbel.net> wrote in message
> news:XzU6j.6806$AR7.4254@nlpi070.nbdc.sbc.com...
>>I changed beer to milk, and told my 7 year old son... he's still laughing.
>>Smile
>>
>> --Mike
>>
>> "Eisboch" <nothere.RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote in message
>> news:JPmdnY-LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remnZ2d@giganews.com...
>>> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>>>
>>> She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
>>> millions of course.
>>>
>>> -----------------------------------------
>>> Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape
>>> from a
>>> burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of
>>> the
>>> men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would
>>> appear,
>>> he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a
>>> genie
>>> came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
>>> deliver one wish, not the standard three.
>>>
>>> Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
>>> entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening
>>> crash,
>>> and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled
>>> by
>>> mortals.
>>>
>>> Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on
>>> the
>>> hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One
>>> man
>>> looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a
>>> long,
>>> tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to
>>> have
>>> to piss in the boat!"
>>>
>>> ---------------------------------------
>>>
>>> Eisboch
>>>
>>
>>
> "piss in the boat" is, but "beer" isn't appropriate language for a 7 year
> old??? ever been checked for dyslexia?
>
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Jim

External


Since: Dec 09, 2007
Posts: 10



(Msg. 9) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:56 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Eisboch" <rce.RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:ZcqdnXT7UvXchsHanZ2dnUVZ_uWlnZ2d@giganews.com...
>
> "Larry" <noone.RemoveThis@home.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9A016FDBB578Cnoonehomecom@208.49.80.253...
>> "Eisboch" <nothere.RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote in news:JPmdnY-
>> LEoC2d8banZ2dnUVZ_remnZ2d.RemoveThis@giganews.com:
>>
>>> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>>>
>>
>> You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;
>>
>> And thank her for me!
>>
>> I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
>> on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;
>>
>> Larry
>
>
> Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?
>
> Eisboch
>
und pineapples
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Eisboch

External


Since: Jan 24, 2006
Posts: 2007



(Msg. 10) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:24 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Jim" <me @nothere.net> wrote in message
news:029cc816$0$9170$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
>
> "Eisboch" <rce DeleteThis @nowhere.com> wrote in message
> news:ZcqdnXT7UvXchsHanZ2dnUVZ_uWlnZ2d@giganews.com...
>>
>> "Larry" <noone DeleteThis @home.com> wrote in message
>> news:Xns9A016FDBB578Cnoonehomecom@208.49.80.253...
>>>
>>>> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>>>>
>>>
>>> You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;
>>>
>>> And thank her for me!
>>>
>>> I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
>>> on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;
>>>
>>> Larry
>>
>>
>> Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?
>>
>> Eisboch
>>
> und pineapples

You're turning into a regular Jimmy Buffett. Buy a guitar yet?
I may be heading down there for a visit. Coors Light, if you please.

http://www.margaritaville.com/

Eisboch
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Jim

External


Since: Dec 09, 2007
Posts: 10



(Msg. 11) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:39 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Eisboch" <rce.TakeThisOut@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:wsadnThX29ZIr8HanZ2dnUVZ_j6dnZ2d@giganews.com...
>
> "Jim" <me @nothere.net> wrote in message
> news:029cc816$0$9170$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
>>
>> "Eisboch" <rce.TakeThisOut@nowhere.com> wrote in message
>> news:ZcqdnXT7UvXchsHanZ2dnUVZ_uWlnZ2d@giganews.com...
>>>
>>> "Larry" <noone.TakeThisOut@home.com> wrote in message
>>> news:Xns9A016FDBB578Cnoonehomecom@208.49.80.253...
>>>>
>>>>> Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;
>>>>
>>>> And thank her for me!
>>>>
>>>> I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
>>>> on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;
>>>>
>>>> Larry
>>>
>>>
>>> Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?
>>>
>>> Eisboch
>>>
>> und pineapples
>
> You're turning into a regular Jimmy Buffett. Buy a guitar yet?
> I may be heading down there for a visit. Coors Light, if you please.
>
> http://www.margaritaville.com/
>
> Eisboch
>
>
>
Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder for
you.
I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
more manly. Maybe a tuba.
I'll keep a light on for you.
Jim
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Gene Kearns

External


Since: Nov 03, 2007
Posts: 866



(Msg. 12) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:49 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
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Gene Kearns

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Since: Nov 03, 2007
Posts: 866



(Msg. 13) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:58 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
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Eisboch

External


Since: Jan 24, 2006
Posts: 2007



(Msg. 14) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:13 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Jim" <me @nothere.net> wrote in message
news:029cd146$0$9176$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
>
>>
> Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder
> for you.
> I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
> more manly. Maybe a tuba.
> I'll keep a light on for you.
> Jim
>
>

Forget the tuba. Not you.
http://www.tuba.is.nl/tubas/boyintuba.jpg


You need a double belled Euponium.
http://www.8va.net/ConnDBE/Pictures-Pages/Image0.html

Or a good old Sousaphone:
http://www.music.vt.edu/musicdictionary/texts/images/Sousaphone.jpg

Eisboch
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Calif Bill

External


Since: Jan 26, 2006
Posts: 1806



(Msg. 15) Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:13 pm
Post subject: Re: Joke [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)

"Eisboch" <rce.RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:r62dnZm3_YXBo8HanZ2dnUVZ_qmlnZ2d@giganews.com...
>
> "Jim" <me @nothere.net> wrote in message
> news:029cd146$0$9176$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
>>
>>>
>> Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder
>> for you.
>> I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
>> more manly. Maybe a tuba.
>> I'll keep a light on for you.
>> Jim
>>
>>
>
> Forget the tuba. Not you.
> http://www.tuba.is.nl/tubas/boyintuba.jpg
>
>
> You need a double belled Euponium.
> http://www.8va.net/ConnDBE/Pictures-Pages/Image0.html
>
> Or a good old Sousaphone:
> http://www.music.vt.edu/musicdictionary/texts/images/Sousaphone.jpg
>
> Eisboch
>

I played the tuba in junior high school. Because I was one of the biggest
guys in band and played trumpet and mellophone, the teacher decided I should
be the tuba player. It sucks as an intrument. Hard to play at parties and
is heavy to carry.
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