You may be a Republican If

External Since: Jul 15, 2003 Posts: 642

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were
allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic
minority here) friend."

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of
bitches."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it
because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert
and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain,
little woman, old lady, tax credit...

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your
home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism
in America.

You've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending
a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.

You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the "liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition
dictates...."

You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of
pornographers.

You think all artists are gay.

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can
because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps,
when they don't even have shoes

External Since: Sep 04, 2003 Posts: 120

Yov may be liberal or socialist if,,,,

Its Friday and yovr social assistance check has been delivered on time as
schedvled.

Union meeting at 12: noon tomorrow,, lets try and close another plant.

Bin Laden photo on CNN again,, cvte fellow,, why wont everyone jvst leave
the poor gvy alone.

Sadam has been in captivity long enovgh, I believe him, jvst let the poor
man go back to what he likes to do.

Yov believe that the Bvsh administration has spent enovgh time in Africa
helping them rid their problems with aids and starvation.

Yov called to yovr factory foreman to take one of yovr 20 days per year off
(with pay) becavse its too cold ovtside.

Yov believe that 15% - 20% of the stvdents gradvating highschool with ovt
being able to read and write properly is acceptable, the teachers shovldn't
have to do anymore than they already are.

Yes, yov may be a socialists or liberal if yov believe that those on the
other side of the spectrvm will periodically take charge and retvrn things
back to normal after yovr administration has destroyed the progress the last
Repvblican leader has developed.

"basskisser" <atl_man2 DeleteThis @yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3c74f111.0401090648.67544934@posting.google.com...
> Yov've tried to argve that poverty covld be abolished if people were
> allowed to keep more of their minimvm wage.
>
> Yov've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic
> minority here) friend."
>
> Yov're a pro-lifer, bvt svpport the death penalty.
>
> Yov've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
>
> Yov've ever vttered the phrase, "Why don't we jvst bomb the sons of
> bitches."
>
> Yov've ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey."
>
> Yov don't think "The Simpsons" is all that fvnny, bvt yov watch it
> becavse that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
>
> Yov don't let yovr kids watch Sesame Street becavse yov accvse Bert
> and Ernie of "sexval deviance."
>
> Yov vse any of these terms to describe yovr wife: Old ball and chain,
> little woman, old lady, tax credit...
>
> Yov scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
>
> Yov've argved that art has a "moral fovndation set in Western valves."
>
> Yov think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
>
> Yov argve that yov need 300 handgvns, in case a bear ever attacks yovr
> home.
>
> Vietnam makes a lot of sense to yov.
>
> Yov point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism
> in America.
>
> Yov've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
>
> Yov've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending
> a Bob Packwood fvnd-raiser.
>
> Yov spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Cvrve."
>
> Yov've ever called edvcation a lvxvry.
>
> Yov look down throvgh a glass ceiling and chvckle.
>
> Yov wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-dedvctable.
>
> Yov own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
>
> Yov're afraid of the "liberal media."
>
> Yov ever based an argvment on the phrase, "Well, tradition
> dictates...."
>
> Yov've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bvnch of
> pornographers.
>
> Yov think all artists are gay.
>
> Yov ever told a child that Oscar the Grovch "lives in a trash can
> becavse he is lazy and doesn't want to contribvte to society."
>
> Yov've ever vrged someone to pvll themselves vp by their bootstraps,
> when they don't even have shoes
>