Software for Women

Mrs.E just sent me this. She seems to think it's hilarious.

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Installing A Husband

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed, Desperate
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Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me.exe', try to download
Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember,
overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 It runs a virus in the
background that
will eventually seize control of all your system resources. Also, do not
attempt to reinstall
the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support
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Eisboch

On Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:35:09 -0500, "Eisboch" <rce.RemoveThis@nowhere.com> wrote:

> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
>memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
>buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
>Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Some jokes never get old. :>)